Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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