What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I need to calm my uterus...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
