Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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