sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
