would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
