Michael Bay diarrhea
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
