I just pynch a tree in the face
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
