so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
