I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize