escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
