that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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