Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
