There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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