So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
