garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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