I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
