do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
