How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
