Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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