So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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