I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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