forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
