I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
