the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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