i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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