If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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