Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm just crazy horny about you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Randomize
