I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
