Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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