im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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