my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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