I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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