windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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