Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
