shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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