So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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