why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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