My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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