I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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