Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
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I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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