you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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