i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
