I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize