I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
