I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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