Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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