I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize