Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
