I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
