so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
