I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
