I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
