his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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