No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
