Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
