One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
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I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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