My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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