Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
