i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
