Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
